Vows

26 May 09

Chris and I wrote our own vows. For obvious reasons, we both considered the vows to be the most important part of the whole ceremony. They were/are extremely personal and important to us (not that either of us finished writing them more than a day before the ceremony). When we said them, we said them to each other, and we meant every word.

Part way through saying our vows someone, ahem, said loudly, “We can’t hear you.”

To which Rev Nurya responded, “They’re not talking to you.”

This has been repeated to me more than anything else as guests’ favorite part of the wedding.

We’ve been considering putting the vows up here, and we will continue to consider it. For now, though, they’ll remain just between us. That is, until one of us gets around to typing them all out. They’re currently handwritten and living in our memory book, where they have been since the wedding.

Second Reading

Boo honored us with Oh the Places You'll Go by Dr Seuss

He had to borrow Rev Nurya's copy because his got so wet that it disintigrated. The other groomsmen were even trying to hold the sheets very delicately out for him. He was also annoyed that we picked a little bit of a tongue twister.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the couple who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "We don't choose to go there."
With your heads full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down, any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there
in the wide open air,
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to great heights!
You won't lag behind, because you'll have all the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang, and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't.
Because sometimes, you won't.
You'll get mixed up of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed upwith so many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with great care and great tact
and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
KIDS, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So, be your name Buxbaum or Dowrie or Bass
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to great places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So … get on your way!

First Reading

Liz honored us with the first reading:

From James Dillet Freeman, a Blessing for a Marriage

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life
grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know
your fullness.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice, but not compel one another.
May you embrace, but not encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults.
If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to
take the first step back.
May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another's presence - no more
physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when
you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

Do You?

Do you Chris, take Amanda to be your wife, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, and to be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?


I do.


Do you Amanda, take Chris to be your husband, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, and to be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?


I do.

The Ceremony

Prelude

Music: “White Wedding” by Billy Idol, “Going to the Chapel” by The Crystals

Processional

“Time After Time” Instrumental by Cyndi Lauper and Sarah McLaughlin

“Bridal Chorus” by Wagner

Of course, all the music got scrapped because of the monsoon.

Opening Words

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to unite this man and this woman in the ‘bonds of marriage, a source of joy to those who enter into it and of great good for our common life. Solemn words and symbolic acts are but the outward sign of what is here meant; for a true marriage is a union of lives, established in respect, love, and devotion; a dedication of each to the other, and of both to the wider community of which their lives are a part.

Charge to the Couple

• Chris and Amanda, the covenant which you are about to make with each other is meant to be a beautiful and sacred expression of your love. As you pledge your vows, and commit your lives to each other, we ask that you do so in all seriousness, and yet with a deep sense of joy; with the deep conviction that you are committing yourselves to a dynamic growing relationship of trust, mutual support, and caring love. Remember, then, that your decision this day is your act of faith in one another. Your faith must not be a vain hope in what the other will do or will not do, might

  

  become or not become. Yours must be that deeper faith that you each will be acceptable in the other's eyes despite the changes of the years and the assaults of the world. Such faith requires that you honor yourself as well as attend to the needs of the other. Such faith requires that you learn to listen before you speak. Such faith requires that you each be open to that divine spark within you, and be willing to be guided by the grace of its light. Your pledge to one another is a devotion in freedom, and not a license to control. Your covenant will endure the trials of time only as you keep to that sacred integrity.

What do you mean, "it's raining?"

Finally, just minutes before we were scheduled to start I got into my custom Demitrios dress. Dina and Wen had gone with me dress hunting, and when the woman at the boutique brought this one out on the hanger, we all grimaced and said, "no." Beads and lace? Not exactly my style. But, as it turns out, she really knew what she was talking about. The second I put it on, all three of us knew it was the one even though it was well outside of what I had been hoping to spend. I ended up having it massively altered, but I was soooo happy with it in the end.

I was informed that the guests were arriving just shortly before I was informed that what had been a beautiful sunny day up to that point was quickly turning rainy. Chris was brought in blindfolded so that we could decide what to do. The ultimate decision was that the rain wasn't going to let up in less than a 1/2 hour, and we were not about to postpone the wedding beyond that when everyone had already come out for it, so we'd go on in the rain.

The tent was standing room only since we hadn't counted on having to fit everyone in, and the wedding party was getting rained on lined up all nice for the processional. We had to scrap the music because the sound system had to be covered up - and no one would've been able to hear it anyway.

My glorious entrance as a bride involved running down the yard supported by my mom on one side and dad on the other, under Mandy's umbrella (one of the only two in the whole place). Chris tried to taunt me into doing the ceremony with him in front of the arch in the downpour. My dad seconded the idea - it was a gorgeous arch that he made for us. The groomsmen followed suit. I was not about to oblige. Nor were the bridesmaids. It was really, really pouring. If I'm not mistaken it was the heaviest rain of the summer to that point.

Eventually, Reverand Nurya Love Parish wrangled everyone into some semblance of the order we were supposed to be in, and the ceremony kicked off.

Getting Ready

The night before the big day we hung out with most of the wedding party in the gazebo in front of the Tour Inn where most of the wedding party stayed. When it came time to finally crash, I found myself with no real place to sleep. The bedding arrangements had somehow gotten confused by people crashing at different times, an because no one would let Chris and I sleep in the same room the only open spot left (with him) was off limits. I ended up being one of the only people without a bed the night before my wedding, which still amuses the heck out of me. I slept on my mom's couch. At least I didn't end up sleeping out on the deck like Boo.

The next morning the efforts to try to prevent Chris and I from seeing each other didn't last long when I ended up trapped in the bathroom because he was in the livingroom. We settled on simply not letting him see me in the dress.

It didn't take long for the house to explode into activity. We had a lot of friends who really pitched in. We want to thank everyone who helped, especially at the last minute, pull this thing together. Chris Walker how gave us a ton of extra decorations and inspiration, not to mention the 100 other ways she pitched in; Dennis Walker for fogging for bugs; Nick Walker for helping get the arch to where it needed to be. We want to thank Angela and Sue for taking care of 50 small details we either hadn't anticipated or had miscalculated. And we want to thank Diane for fixing Kenzie's flower girl dress so beautifully.

While the the bridesmaids put together the center pieces and decorated the tent, Nick and Jason pulled rocks out of the crick to use to hold down the tablecloths. Then Kenzie and Mason washed the rocks. It was gorgeous, warm, and sunny out the whole time.

Matt Walker graciously agreed to cue the music for the ceremony. When I went to get it all set up; I was horrified to discover that half of it was gone. I had to go sit in the parking lot of the Tour Inn to get it back. Our pre-ceremony songs included "White Wedding" by Billy Idol and "Chapel of Love." The processional was a beautiful intstumental version of "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper, followed by the Wagner Wedding March. "Banana Wind" by Jimmy Buffett was cued up for when we signed the contract, and the recessional was "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz (before it became the most overplayed song on the radio, ha). Granted, none of this actually happened, but it was a nice plan, no less.

Kristen was a huge help; she put together my gorgeous white and red snapdragon bouquet and did hair for bridesmaids and friends. It was a bit of a madhouse because the bridesmaids, since they were already on hand to help with all the setup and other craziness, all ended up getting ready in my mom's one bathroom house, but it worked out in the end.

Making the Cake

Chris made our wedding cake. It was a 6 tiered, 6 flavored cheesecake with graham cracker crust and decorated with fondant with a beautiful ivy motif in dark green.

At least, that was the idea.

Chris and I spent hours in the kitchen at Rockford Freshman Center the night before the rehearsal making the cake.

It took a lot longer than we expected, and was absolutely exhausting. We did get the opportunity at one point to wander off into the school to - explore, which took the edge off, and eventually we got all the cakes into the big fridges to set.

Sadly, in the end, the cakes didn't set up in time to come out of the pans, so only one of them got to wear the gorgeous fondant wraps that Chris made, but they were delicious nonetheless! And trying to make our own 6 tier wedding cheesecake was certainly an adventure.

GALLONS of cheesecake batter

Molding and painting fondant we'd never use . . .

This is one of the only pictures we ended up having of the cake cutting. Someone has one of the actual decorated portion of the cake, but I don't know where it went . . .

The Rehearsal

The weeks and days leading up to our wedding were crazy and stressful. With Chris working constant overtime and me studying for and taking the NY Bar exam (which I passed, by the way), there was very little time to plan - and even less money.

We pulled together some main elements - the rings, the dress, the recipes for the 6 cakes, the minister (until he backed out), but really we left it all up to fate, faith, and whatever we could pull together in the time we had in MI.

By the time the rehearsal "dinner" rolled around, we were out of money, out of time, and I was out of patience. We were both late, out shopping for odds and ends - but that was okay because an oversight in the time difference between Lafayette, IN and Howard City, MI also meant that half the wedding party was late too!

We really want to thank my mom and Michelle for paying for the pizzas since they showed up a 1/2 hour early while we were still down by the river rehearsing. And we want to thank everyone for coming, having fun, and overlooking my slight crankiness . . . ;-)